A Lesson on Life

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The Cat who slaps Gators

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The Air of Mystery

I love the Tango!









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Judgement of Others

Practice releasing the judgement  of others.

You just do not know where someone has been

or what they are going through.

If you do not like something they do,

do not focus on it.

Instead wish them well. - Power of Positivity


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VAYA CON DIOS

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IS OUR OBSESSION WITH SMARTPHONES RUINING OUR LOVE LIVES

Watch this video and decide if you are behaving like that! Very interesting!






Message to my European Followers:
Please let me know if you were able to watch the video.




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Rancherfest Polka - Have Fun

André Rieu, Roger and his 12 year old son Romano Diederen performing Die Rancherfest Polka live in Maastricht.


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Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July!


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The Narcissistic Mother

Are you dealing with a narcissistic mother?

 

As a child, you don’t immediately realize your mother’s confidence is brittle. She’s always right because she needs to be right. Everything she says goes without question—that’s the way it is with parents when you’re a child.

You please because you are trained to do so.  As a nine year old, you don’t take your mother on because, like most school age kids, you want whatever nurturance you can get.  Still, she may get mad at you for forgetting your homework, making a mess or annoying her in some random way.  You think it’s you and find yourself anxious in her presence.

Then you get a little older, your consciousness continues to evolve, and you realize your mother’s actions and behavior lacks normal maternal nurturing. You see other kids and their parents.

Psychology Today blogger, Karyl McBride, Ph.D. puts it this way: 

“Narcissists are not in touch with their own feelings. They project those feelings on to others and are not capable of empathy. They cannot put themselves into your shoes and feel or understand how something might affect you. They can only see how it affects them. They are hypersensitive to criticism and judgment, but constantly criticize and judge others.” 

Your mom comes home and demands attention. If you hold back, she takes offense and attacks. She’s tired. She’s irritated. She just wants it her way, and your feelings better align with hers.  If you have to hear the word “ungrateful” one more time you’ll scream.  But, most times you don’t. 

It pays to wait for the rage to abate. If you fight, she fights to win. Many normal parents get into power struggles with their kids, but a narcissistic parent truly needs to win. It is both desperate and scary. 

So, you grow up with everyone tiptoeing around mom, hoping that she’s in a good mood, and anxious not to trigger a rage attack.

All it takes is a little frustration, so you better be good.  

Narcissistic Mother + Children = Instability

Children experience continued psychological whiplash being raised by a narcissistic mother. 

Here are some characteristics a narcissistic mother: 

• The socially engaged mom becomes the controlling mom at home. She’s no longer the woman wearing the perpetual smile that never falters, or at least in everyone else’s eyes. She is demeaning, criticizes, and lets you know in more ways than one that you are not up to her standards.

• She makes you feel like a failure if you’re not doing what she wants right now. Your mom is really good at manipulation, especially when your emotions are involved. If you aren’t fulfilling her desires to make her feel like her needs are at the upmost importance, be prepared to experience pain in the way of criticism or an attack. And, if you are looking for validation, you may be waiting a long time.

• She is easily offended, claiming that she does so much for you. If you don’t give her what she wants, she‘s upset and pulls the “you don’t love me because if you did, you would do what I wanted” card or she’ll simply accuse you of taking her for granted and not appreciating her as a mother.  It’s not above her to compare you unfavorably to someone else who is “good” to his or her mother.

• She is privately opinionated, blasting people, while more forgiving in public. Mom needs to look good in front of everyone, even if she isn’t too fond of them. She is charismatic, smiles and even holds chats with them while saving her criticism and opinions for the house.

• She finds fault in you. And when you make it right, you barely get a validation. “I’m sorry Mom” is never enough with her and you can never figure out how to please her with an apology.

• She makes you anxious, not filled with self-confidence. She makes you feel inadequate, even if you do something that deserves praise. We all need validation, especially early on in life. A narcissistic mother can instigate self-doubt in everything that you do.

• The world revolves around her. Your mom has to be the center of attention at all times. She needs to be waited on and adored and expects you to provide her with all of the above and more.  
  Yet, we all require maternal love.
  The consequences of being raised by a narcissistic mother can be subtle or dramatic, often affecting adulthood. Neither the mother nor child may realize this until then. Remember, that children must adapt to their early childhood, and the way we do it influences who we are to become. 
  Excerpts - Post published by Mark Banschick M.D.  – Psychology Today

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